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love sonnet #3
Love comes in an unexpected time.
You cannot control love
because it came from an unstoppable time.
You cannot control your feelings
because it will collide to you
like the thunder storm.
You cannot limit your action
because love is an expansion of no limitation;
but only the reaction of 2 heart’s emotion.
it’s an evolution of fear and sorrow.
It’s a mind blowing effect of addiction and contradiction
of the thousands frustration.
There’s no philosophical explaination for love;
but I can only motion
one thing:love is sometimes unbelievable.
Sometimes it will give you trouble
from the people
who you thought
could help you sort things out;
but they’ll only walk out in your life,
exposing the true meaning of their closet.
Love comes in a humble package
,it’s hard to mange,depends on your loggage.
It gives you a lot of garbage
to teach you how to clean
the untidy mess in your life.
Love chooses nobody.
It corrects inperfection
of human assumption.
It creates chains in every life.
It locks every hole in in human’s heart,
making it whole again,
ready to love again,
ready to gain pain again,
ready to be brave again,
There’s nothing humble
than a brave heart
because you fight
for your right
to express your thought
of being romantic
and that’s the magic
of falling in love.
It’s a fantastic gift of God Almighty
to his best creation.
Loving is a passion,
it’s an illusion
of truth and mysteries.
It’s the great adventure
and amazing discovery
of our mysterious lives.
06/03/08
Add a comment Abril 30, 2011
Ako
Ako ay isang makata
na di halatang bata.
Ang aking mata
ay iba iba nakikita
kaya akala nila
ako ay pintasera.
Ako ay maldita
at kung ika’y di kaaya-aya
minsan ako’y suplada,
minsan ika’y katawa-tawa.
Ako,madaling maawa
pero hindi sa mga tsismosa,
pero hindi sa mga maninira.
Ako’y takot sa karma
pero hindi sa dilim ng maynila
kasi my Diyos akong kinikilala
kahit na ‘di halata sa gawa,
kahit na ‘di halata sa dila
dahil ako’y ‘di ipokrita,
tama lang ang aking paniniwala,
hindi masyadong relihiyosa,
tama nang maniwala
na may pangalawang buhay sa kabila
ng ating pagdurusa.
Pag ako’y iyong kalapit na kakilala,
sa aki’y ika’y makakaasa
dahil minsan lang mabali ang aking salita.
‘Yon ay kung ako’y may problema
kasi parang lason iyon sa’king sistema,
matagal humupa,
habang tumatagal lalong lumalala.
Lumalabas tuloy na ako ang may sala.
Ako,madami akong tunay na kaibigan
‘yon bang tipong hindi ka iiwan
sa oras ng kagipitan
at tatangapin lahat ng ‘yung kaninaan
at ika’y pagtyatyagaan
kahit na may sumpong kang ‘di maiiwasan.
Ako’y madaming dahilan
‘pag ika’y aking naging kalaban
hindi ako mahilig magpapatalo
kahit dehado
na ang laban kaya naman kapahamakan
ako’y nilalapitan
pano kasi pahamak ‘tong aking katabilan.
Kalalakihan ‘di ako nilalapitan
pano kasi ‘di ko sila kabatian
di kasi lantad aking kalandian
mahirap na ‘pag tukso ang kalaban
baka ako’y biglaan
na pauwiin ng aking ama sa’ming bayan.
Minsan nga nalaman niya na ako’y may kasintahan
aba!aking mga kaibigan
kanyang pinagdiskitahan
kaya isang kahihiyan
‘di ko malilimutan.
Nasira aking pinangangalagaan
na dignidad na isang ‘di makabasag pinggan.
Subalit,ayos lang,-
‘di naman totoo lahat ng iniisip nilang kasamaan.
Ipinagmamalaki kong napangalagaan
ko aking kalinisan
kahit na pangalan
ay nadungisan sa kakitiran
ng utak ng pamayanan,
kainosentihan ko kanilang pinamiestahan
sa maling pahayagan.
Sensitibo aking pandama
kaya madali akong mairita.
Ako,isang taklesa
pero hindi bongangera.
Ako,ambisyosa pero ‘di linta.
Ako,mahlig kumabisa
ng mga kanta
pero ‘di ng mga repertwa
na dapat tama ang nota.
Ako,mahilig matulog sa kama
na may pulbos sa paa.
Ako,dapat nanunuod at lalong nagbabasa
ng mga pangkalahatang balita.
Ako,kung maglambing ay sadista
pano kasi madami akong kapatid na binata.
Ako,madaling mamamangha
sa maganda,
binata man o dalaga.
Ako,lampa
ngunit puno ng pag-asa
kasi balang araw nais kong marinig sa ibang dila
na “si Malaya
iyan ay aming kaeskwela,
iyan ay aming kapamilya,
iyan noo’y aming inaalipusta,
iyan noo’y aming pinapahiya;”
ngayon ang aking mukha
ay nasa malaking pahina
na noo’y ‘di inakala
ni sa hinuha
pagkat dati’y ‘kala nila walang ibubuga
isa na ngayong magaling na manunulat ng ating bansa.
Ayos talaga
aking mga pantasya
pangtelenobela
talagang kikita sa madla
lalo na sa masa
‘yong tipong luluhod ang kontrabida
at ang huling tawa ay nasa bida.
12/17/06
Add a comment Hulyo 1, 2008
What if?
What if you waited for the right guy
and you realize in the middle
that you’re the wrong girl for him?
What if he only like you as a friend
and he can’t imagine you to be his woman?
What if he doesn’t fall for you
no matter what you do,
no matter how you please him to like you?
What if you’re tired of waiting for him
and you fall in love with someone else
and then you’ll meet him again,
discovering that he also had love you
but you have no choice
because you’re heart is already taken;
but you realize you’re still in love with him
and you can’t afford to loose him anymore?
What if you waited for him
and yet you found out
that he’s in love with another girl?
What if you’re both taken now
and you realize that he had love you;
but have no courage to confess his feelings.
All is what if because I’m afraid that
what if I loose you if I say that I love you?
How i wish you’re also in love with me
but what if you don’t feel the same way like I do?
06/29/08
Add a comment Hunyo 30, 2008
Future
It was a lovely morning for me; I got up from bed and go to the balcony of our house, the air whisper in my ears and embracing my whole body. I can see the rising of the sun in the east .It was almost five years ago when I became a residence of Norzagaray Bulacan after I married my fiancé. It was my daily routine to take my shower as soon as I woke up to energize my system. After that, I cook in the kitchen and eat breakfast with my husband and our two kids and then read newspaper with my husband. I was not surprise to discover that the sports editor of the newspaper that we were reading is now Joba Botana, my former classmate in UE since she was a scholar of Philippine Daily Inquirer when we were still in college. When I scan the sports section, a familiar name in the byline of a sports writer, it was Lemuel Angeles whom I recall that he was also my classmate along with Botana. The two were close friends in college and I guess now they were more than just close…but best friends.
On Sunday we usually go to church to attend mass and I realize that our parish priest is new but somehow familiar, he reminds me of my classmate in college, he speaks with humor and when he was introduce by the hermana mayor, he was not yet a priest but a reverent, brother Eleazar Ultado.His name rings a bell, oh my god! It’s a miracle. He was indeed my classmates and his life was revived by his calling. What can I say but: there is nothing impossible in this world except changes so expect the unexpected.
After going to church my husband and I bring our children to jollibee to eat lunch. I order for my family, the cashier’s smile was so welcoming and says “welcome to jollibee maam can I take your order?” I was still choosing from the food menu when her nameplate calls my attention “Riza Vallencia.” Instead of ordering I introduce myself and I begun to ask her. Hey! What happened? Why did you become just a crew here? And she just gave me a tasteful laughter “I’m not a crew here, I’m the manager, actually I own this one, I’m one of the owner of Jollibee Philippines. I just miss being in the counter so I try it again. I thought she was the one who’ll be embarrass but I was the one who got embarrass. Anyway I’m happy for the succes RizaI. Back in college, she was a working student in jollibee, now she is one of he owner.
I was typing my new write up for a fashion magazine when my co-writer who is a Christian lends me a religious book, it was newly published. She recommend it to me, she says it was good so I try to read it, the author was Babylen Sulam, she was my one of my kind and smart classmate in journalism. Well, now I am convince that it is a good book. The author was one of the best writers in their batch. I learned from the book that she is now a successful missionary writer and has gone in a lot of places in the world to spread the good news of god.
Thursday was my off in work so I decided to visit MERALCO where my husband work as an electronic engineer. My husband was only new in the company so I ask the location of his office to the woman whom I saw as I enter in the gate and when I thank her, realizing that I haven’t got her name,she introduce herself that she is also an engineer. She is none other than Khem ann Ycong who was also my classmate.
I learned from khem ann that Farrah brooke Miranda was happily married to his longtime boyfriend and have a owns business in Makati. Jocel Lopez was also happily married to his long time boyfriend and is now the one of the owner of AVON Philipines. Kathlyn Velasco now owns a parlor which has branches all over manila. Professor Maaliw still teaches in UE but now the chairman of Department of Communication Arts.
I was calling my cousin whom I haven’t seen for years when I learned that she was now working in Advance Contact Solutions and her Team Leader Emily Castalla who was also my classmate in college.
This week seems like a class reunion and I thought of the past phase of my life. I have been a fashion writer for almost four years after I finished my clothing technology degree in Paris. I’ve been a working student in Paris just to finished my studies and it was a dream come true that I had survive and cope up the different culture in the foreign land. It was nine years ago when I finished my first course, yeah, its a little shame for almost five years and I had enough for being a college student in UE.
13 mga puna Marso 7, 2008
Future
It was a lovely morning for me; I got up from bed and go to the balcony of our house, the air whisper in my ears and embracing my whole body. I can see the rising of the sun in the east .It was almost five years ago when I became a residence of Norzagaray Bulacan after I married my fiancé. It was my daily routine to take my shower as soon as I woke up to energize my system. After that, I cook in the kitchen and eat breakfast with my husband and our two kids and then read newspaper with my husband. I was not surprise to discover that the sports editor of the newspaper that we were reading is now Joba Botana, my former classmate in UE since she was a scholar of Philippine Daily Inquirer when we were still in college. When I scan the sports section, a familiar name in the byline of a sports writer, it was Lemuel Angeles whom I recall that he was also my classmate along with Botana. The two were close friends in college and I guess now they were more than just close…but best friends.
On Sunday we usually go to church to attend mass and I realize that our parish priest is new but somehow familiar, he reminds me of my classmate in college, he speaks with humor and when he was introduce by the hermana mayor, he was not yet a priest but a reverent, brother Eleazar Ultado.His name rings a bell, oh my god! It’s a miracle. He was indeed my classmates and his life was revived by his calling. What can I say but: there is nothing impossible in this world except changes so expect the unexpected.
After going to church my husband and I bring our children to jollibee to eat lunch. I order for my family, the cashier’s smile was so welcoming and says “welcome to jollibee maam can I take your order?” I was still choosing from the food menu when her nameplate calls my attention “Riza Vallencia.” Instead of ordering I introduce myself and I begun to ask her. Hey! What happened? Why did you become just a crew here? And she just gave me a tasteful laughter “I’m not a crew here, I’m the manager, actually I own this one, I’m one of the owner of Jollibee Philippines. I just miss being in the counter so I try it again. I thought she was the one who’ll be embarrass but I was the one who got embarrass. Anyway I’m happy for the succes RizaI. Back in college, she was a working student in jollibee, now she is one of he owner.
I was typing my new write up for a fashion magazine when my co-writer who is a Christian lends me a religious book, it was newly published. She recommend it to me, she says it was good so I try to read it, the author was Babylen Sulam, she was my one of my kind and smart classmate in journalism. Well, now I am convince that it is a good book. The author was one of the best writers in their batch. I learned from the book that she is now a successful missionary writer and has gone in a lot of places in the world to spread the good news of god.
Thursday was my off in work so I decided to visit MERALCO where my husband work as an electronic engineer. My husband was only new in the company so I ask the location of his office to the woman whom I saw as I enter in the gate and when I thank her, realizing that I haven’t got her name,she introduce herself that she is also an engineer. She is none other than Khem ann Ycong who was also my classmate.
I learned from khem ann that Farrah brooke Miranda was happily married to his longtime boyfriend and have a owns business in Makati. Jocel Lopez was also happily married to his long time boyfriend and is now the one of the owner of AVON Philipines. Kathlyn Velasco now owns a parlor which has branches all over manila. Professor Maaliw still teaches in UE but now the chairman of Department of Communication Arts.
I was calling my cousin whom I haven’t seen for years when I learned that she was now working in Advance Contact Solutions and her Team Leader Emily Castalla who was also my classmate in college.
This week seems like a class reunion and I thought of the past phase of my life. I have been a fashion writer for almost four years after I finished my clothing technology degree in Paris. I’ve been a working student in Paris just to finished my studies and it was a dream come true that I had survive and cope up the different culture in the foreign land. It was nine years ago when I finished my first course, yeah, its a little shame for almost five years and I had enough for being a college student in UE.
Add a comment Marso 7, 2008
The untold story of my life
Believe it or not I have not considered the worst thing I did in valentines since I have not experience a romantic date in my whole life. I am enjoying my single life as a single for almost six years. One of the golden rules of my authoritarian parents is I am not allowed to be courted and to have a boyfriend. However, I am not the good girl type, once in my life I broke their trust for having an illegal relationship. After my parents caught us walking together, I was transferred to another school; but our relationship did not end there. For three months we have not talked, the fear that my father would discover that I’ve continue my relationship with him even if he strictly prohibits me to do so. We only exchange letters through a common friend who became our messenger.
Being a teenager at that time, I was so idealistic that he will be my first and last; but the fairytale that I thought would be a happy ending turn out as a nightmare which I really want to be buried from the past. I learned from a friend that he has also a girlfriend and he had courted my cousin when we were not seeing each other. That was the end of my illusion. It was like closing the dark chapter of my life that I fought for how many months because I thought I can change it and turn it into white; but I was wrong. At the end of the day, I wake up with the reality of life that I was too young to be in love. I was so wrong to risk the trust of my parents for a man who I haven’t known better.
Even now that I am at the right age and far way from my parent’s guidance, I still don’t attempt to commit a hidden relationship because I cannot afford to lose their trust to me again. I’d rather regret that I have not experience to be courted in my college days, than to break the good relationship with my parents who have loved me unconditionally. I do believe that parents knows best because they are the best people in the world.
1 puna Pebrero 19, 2008
Adjustments
Recallection
For almost four years studying in Manila,I came to look back the changes that went through with my life.At first,it was difficult for me trying my best to cope up with the life in the city than what I used to in the province.Being a family oriented and homebody person,I went though a lot of adjustments without my family looking back at me.I am a daddy’s girl and my mother pampered me so much because I am the youngest among my sisters.
Freshman days
Recalling my first day in school,it was so touching that my dad came with me from Bicol just to assist me in my first week in Manila as a college student.He came with me at my first day in school just to make sure that I wil not be loss in my way.I left my dad to lepanto gate to attend my first class and he waited for me there for almost four hours so that I have a company back to my boarding house.I was surprise to discover that there were three gates in the University of the East(UE) because I was almost loss seaching on where I had left him.
Home body now a dorm body
My first boarding house was in Quezon City where my older sister used to live.I was not able to got a boarding house near the University because my parents did not allowed me to do so since I am only new in Manila.My older sister tranfered to the our neighbor so that she can assist.She is also the one who pays the rent.Because my boarding house is located in Quezon City,all of my boarmates were U.P graduates and at the same time working ,I am the only student there.At first,I I felt an outcast everytime they were talking about their common friends,professors or some other things that they have in common.
Highschool days were over,no more flag ceremonies and whole classes when I was fresman.The same that I have to wake up early because my first class starts at 7 in the morning and I have to ride a jeepney in Philcoa.I was not used of traffic jam because there were no such thing in our province where I grew up,only the stop over for the passenger keeps the travel long.But I learned to ride on Light Rail Transit (LRT) and it was fast but a lot of effort.I have to take 3 rides,do a little walking and take a tricycle from Cruz na Ligas(the street of where our boarding house was located) to Sikatuna and take a jeepney to anonas LRT station so when I arrived in school,I am catching my breath and the tiredness reflects in my face of a long trip.
Contrast to my highschool days,I became passive in college,not reciting unless the professor calls me,the worst,I stay away from joining a barkada in our section.All of my classmate have friends while I stayed in one corner alone,the feeling that I do not belong to any group.After my last class I go straight to my boarding house.My tuesdays and wednesdays class ends at 12,and 3 inthe afternoon at mondays,wednesdays and fridays.I arrived at our boarding house early that is why I am the only one there because all of my boardmates were in the office.I am a TV addict that is why I was so glad that there is a television which I can use freely while my doormates were out.I am allowed to watched even if my boardmates were there but because the owner which happens to be one of my boardmates but I cannot choose the chanels or programs which I like.But when she is tired,she leaves the remote control to me and ask me if I will still watch because she’s gonna sleep and ofcourse I will say no,not because I’m also sleepy but because I’m shy of watching the TV alone while all of them were asleep.The noise and the lights of the TV could wake them up and I have a fear that it will overheat because I used it while they were all in the office for work.
After 1 month of the adjasting there different behavior,my boardmates which before I was so intimidated because they were one of what they called “skolar ng bayan” became not just my friends but the big sisters that guided me well.They have treated me as their little sister.We watch together news & soap opera at weekdays & do a korean movie marathon at weekends until 1 am.
Highschool
From my highschool days,I was taged as the “always late comer”.Our house is long distance from school so I commute everyday for 30 minutes.I have to wake up early in the morning just to to arrive in school before the flag ceremony or otherwise I will be punished through cleaning and cutting the grass from the school ground and unfortunately I often do that.I was a member of the drum and lyre and it was hard for me to balance my academics and extra curricular activities so the tendency was I always pass my projects not on time.It was very frustrating because eventhough I did my work well,oftentimes I got I a grade deduction for my late submission.
College
Nothing has changed,I am still the old me.I do crumming for my projects and submitt my class requirements late.I always say I would change but I always failed to do so.
Invinsible Changes and memories
I was in my 2nd year college when our class in Advertising Theories were scheduled to do a studio tour at GMA-7.We were asked by our Professor to find a partner among our classmates and I choose my seatmate.We were scheduled to leave at around 1 in the afternoon and before that time I went outside our boarding house to take my lunch early so that I will be late in the class but when I return to the boarding house,it’s locked.I asked for to our neighbors and she told me that she have all of my seen my boardmates went out.I have no key of our door so I tried to asked our landlady if she has a duplicate of the key but unfortunately she don’t have one.I have no choice but to go to school,I am just lucky because my wallet and school identification card was with me that time and I am in my school uniform eventhouh I am only wearing a pair of sleepers.When I enter to the school gate the guard was new that he did not even notice I was not wearing a school shoes.I was walking along the corridor when I meet my partner.We both went in our classroom but to our surprise our professor was not yet there so my partner and I went out to check if my boardmates were already in our boarding house but it is still locked so we got back at the our classroom and our professor instructed us to wait at the gastambide gate to wait for the school bus while she will be go to the dean’s office to tell the checker that we will have a studio tour so that she will not be mark absent.While the professor was not yet in our venue I took the opportunity to get back to our boarding house and my partner do a phone call to their house.My boardmates were still not there so I drop by to where my partner do a phone call and we both went to gastambide gate.I saw our classmate waving from the school bus and we run fast to stop the school bus.Our professor saw us and told the driver to stop the bus but he did not do that.My partner and I decided to ride a light rail transit (LRT) so that we can follow our classmates at GMA.The Train was full so we were in standing obation.When we got to cubao,we walk a little long distance,not minding the sun’s heat just to get to our destination and finally we got outside the building of GMA but we thought we were not gonna make it or the guards will not allowed us to enter because our classmates were already inside so we just took pictures outside of the billboards and caravan of “Jewel in the palace”(a korean novela that was so popular that time),the front view of the building showing the GMA logo.What is the use of our so much effort just ot get there so we decided to get it a try,to talk to the guards.At first we were pointing each other,my classmate says: ”hoy!ikaw nalang kumausap,nahihiya ako eh(hey!you are the one who should talk to the guards,I ‘m shy).Ikaw nalang,tapus saka ako sisingit(you first,then afterwards I will help you),I replied.But we keep on arguing who should talk to the guards first and then we have agreed to approach them together.We asked them if the students of UE were still inside because we were one of them and if we can come in.They told us to text our professors or one of our classmates so that there could be aperson who could pick us up there so we did what the guard told us and then one of our classmates went to the gate where we waited.At last! we did it,even if its 30 minutes late that we missed the tour to imbestigador newsroom,there picture taking with news anchors Mike Enriques and Arnold Clavio.At least,we have made it to the beinte 24 oras newsroom and the taping of sis(noontime talk show) which made our class the studio audience.Before the start of the taping,all of us went to the powder room to fix ourselves.I was so surprised to see myself in the mirror with my oily face and ruined hair.I am not used of not having my “kikay kit” with me.I have no choice but to borrow a cologne(I feel so sticky because of my perspiration),baby powder(I don’t usually used baby powder since my face peel because of the effect of derma creme that I’m using) ,and a comb for my explosive hair that became hard because of the dust that had showered me along the way.I was so envy with my other classmates because they can fix themselves with their own make up that they like.But anyway,I thanked my partner for lending me her simple kikay kit.
First time
The topic of the show was the popular OPM songs.The guess were DJ Alvaro,Cookie Chua and Rachelle Alejandro.My partner and I filled the vacant seat which was at the front.When the show begun,we applaud but it was so force so the stage director cut the first take and scolded us:”anu ba kayo?!para kayong aatend ng lamay sa patay ah!bigyan niyo naman ng buhay ang palakpak niyo!”(what’s wrong with you,you are like attending a funeral!will you please make your applaud lively!”.We heard the hired audience says”anu ba yan?nasa unahan pa naman sila!saang school ba yan(what’s that?shame on them,from what school they came from?).Obedience was not the best value we had as a normal student who have there “kalukuhan”;but for the sake of our university’s name and to lessen our embarassment,we did just what the stage director wanted,before DJ Alvaro sang,we applauded loud and lively.My guy classmate was shouting:akin ka nalang,wag ka na kay Aleck!(be mine,forget about Aleck).The singer had been rumored that time of having a relationship with the said actress.I was laughing because of what I heard when the cameraman focuses the video on me.After that tiring moment,the other day,I attended a youth christian gathering and I was surprised when my churchmate told me that he saw me on TV.Yeah,It’s a small thing for others;but for me,I considered it one of the most memorable day in my college life not because I was seen on TV or seen celebrities.I just can’t imagine how I got there without any make up on my face and take note:wearing a white messy house slipper.I am a person who is always bothered of what others think of me;but at that moment all I care is to get there.Its an accomplishment for myself.One thing that I’ve learned in studying here in Manila,they says here in the city “walang pakialamanan,kanya kanyang diskarte yan”.Yeah its true,why should I be bothered as far as i know that I’m not doing anything wrong,nor not harming anyone.Just as what they says”what you think of yourself is more important than what others think of you.”
9 mga puna Pebrero 8, 2008
“What’s Behind my Image”
I symbolize myself as an old book
for I’ve been judge by the way I look
for I’ve been criticize by the way I talk
for my temper collide when i get shock
for my presence can be lack
for my pride increases wen it attack.
You may get to see me
But you may never know what I may be!
I’m a lady of surprises
I’m a person that’s full of mysteries
You may always discover my crisis
But you can’t notice the significance
of my essence
Because you always question my existence
Why can’t you give space?!
All I’m asking is a little chance
to share my indispensable content
and when you open,you’ll see my comment
Then you’ll understand my message
You’ll realize”what’s behind my image”.
(2004)
8 mga puna Nobyembre 19, 2007
